Real Hugs & Big Love

In the weeks leading up to my big India move, I learned the value and power of a hug.

For so long they had always just been something I did. I hugged casually, usually involving only half of my body and an artificial pat on the back. I assume, they looked as awkward as they felt.

I hugged indiscriminately, giving half-hearted grasps to new and old acquaintances. My artificial hugs new no shame or boundary.

But as time ticked down to my big departure my hugs took on new form. Suddenly, I was pulling people close, like really close. I felt that if I could hug them with all of me, I would be able to remember what closeness felt like even when they were no longer near.

I went as far as to give my best friend a surprise kiss on the cheek when she came to say her last goodbye to me. We were standing on the sidewalk of my parent’s house and I just couldn’t hug her close enough.

Letting go was the hardest part of these new full-bodied hugs. When I left my mom’s arms to get on my flight to New Delhi, I felt like my body could not move. The absence of her hug later transformed itself into physical pain as I sat in economy class.

Writing this today, I remember exactly how these hugs felt. They were a link that transversed continents and timezones. In moments of loneliness, I could still feel their essence on my body.

These hugs reminded me that I was the recipient of unmeasurable amounts of love.

I want to hug like this again. I hate to admit it, but my half-hearted hugs have made a comeback. The other day, I gave the produce man at the grocery store an awkward squeeze after not being in to see him for a while. I do love fresh vegetables, but not to this extent.

I can’t wait for another move across the globe to remind me to hug closely the people I love. I want to do it every day. I want to make every hug count.

I resolve to make the most of the little moments. When hugging my parents and other people I love, I will do it with all of me.

I will give hugs that are full of authentic connection, but if everyone is okay with it, I would prefer to skip the random kisses on the cheek.