I Quit

I quit.

For the longest time, I did not know how to quit. Quitting was a stranger that I was not allowed to be with.

Quitting was foreign, It was mysterious and the longer I stayed away from quit the more I wanted to be with it.

But once I met quit and we really got together, I learned to do it well, like very well. I quit my job and the lease on my house. I quit my life as I knew it and I quit the people I had grown tired of.

I even quit this country. I moved to India to find a life I did not want to quit.

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I quit.

For me, I quit, is almost always interchangeable for running away. Once I started to see “I quit” as the solution I could not separate from it. I took hold of it and it took hold of me.

I quit came to the surface every time something became too hard or too real. From the outside, quitting looks brave. It looks brave to quit everything that does not bring you joy. But for me, I quit was allowing more space to grow between me and my joy each day.

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I quit.

I thought it would solve my problems. It did not. The problems I had before quitting and starting new are still here. This time I will not quit me, I will not run from my problems to another country.

I will stay here with myself because my joy is not something I can quit. It is not disposable like a job. There is no replacement lurking around the next corner with a higher salary and better benefits. My joy is the only one of its kind and I cannot replace it. This time, I cannot quit.